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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Ferguson protesters go home early last night? The whole thing was a gas."

"Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water? She was taking god's name in vein."

"What is called when a woman gets a sex change? Addadictomy."

"TIL that the Beatles had to change the lyrics to Hello Goodbye because it was too ""british"". The original was ""Oi Mate Piss Off"""

"At school we were always taught the pull-out method doesn't work... ...but like many teenagers, it hasn't stopped the UK trying anyway."

"Watching these people in this commercial, rock climb, scuba dive & live life to the fullest, makes me wish I had genital herpes."

"DATE: *takes a sip of her water* ME: haha ok wow can you tone down the pda you're behaving very erotically"

"After my sixth cup of coffee, I feel like Mario after he gets one of those bouncing, flashing stars."

"I'm more than happy to take your sloppy seconds. Who am I kidding, I'll take corroded fourteenths."

"White girls: You do know Nutella has been around for more than 50 years and is terrible for you, right?"