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Joke of the Day

"A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents"

"I have a new job. I'm a dressing room attendant for dancers at a strip club. $300/week. That's not much, but it's all I can afford."

"What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil? A religious movement!"

"I don't know who decided that high heels were just for women but...GOOD CALL."

"when she gives me her autograph I love it when she signs the restraining order without dotting the i with a heart, playing hard to get I see!"

"Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums."

"Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can never find home"

"What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you weren't so fresh we wouldn't be in this jam."

"Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out."

"What's the difference between a terrorist and a Jewish mother? You can make an agreement with a terrorist!"