4005

Joke of the Day

"I have a new job. I'm a dressing room attendant for dancers at a strip club. $300/week. That's not much, but it's all I can afford."

"So, I measured my penis with one of those digital rulers... ...Anyone know how to convert LOL into inches?"

"What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed ? Out of the way !"

"Date: ""So, what do you want to be?"" Me: ""Impressed."""

"My gf went to the beauty parlor and got a Brazilian. Nothing extreme, just punched her."

"H: Is there anything new you want to try in bed? M: Actually... *stretches out alone in bed, sleeps for 8 hours* M: That was amazing."

"I wanna see Jurassic World, but I hear extincts."

"A double-amputee walks into a bar Then he remembers he's already legless and walks out again."

"I know I shouldn't, but I treat blacks and whites the same Speed Wash cycle."

"How do you turn an Indian woman on? Press the red button."