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Joke of the Day

"Why don't SJWs go to college? Because you have to put Male or Female on the college application"

"1. The truth will set you free. 2. The truth hurts. 3. Being set free hurts."

"""I think I have split personalities"", ......Said Steve, being frank."

"Lifehack: put on sunscreen before work, you trick your senses into believing you're in for a day of fun instead of soul-crushing mediocrity."

"if a blonde and a Asian girl would jump off a bridge who would land first? The Asian girl because the blonde would stop and ask for directions."

"Just watched the movie 2012 and honestly I don't remember any of that happening."

"""Gary give me the gun"" ""I thought you had it"" ""I TOLD you to bring it"" ""I didn't"" ""who brought the getaway car?"" -Disorganized crime"

"Go green by saying no to diapers. Simply swap out your poop-covered baby for a clean one."

"Is it okay to kiss a nun? Sure, a long as you don't get in the habit."

"[At a child's birthday party, holding a poorly taxidermied possum] I heard someone likes stuffed animals!"