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Joke of the Day

"[At a child's birthday party, holding a poorly taxidermied possum] I heard someone likes stuffed animals!"

"What is the difference between a beautiful dress and a bottle of Whisky? A beautiful dress can make one girl look gorgeous... A bottle of whiskey can make all girls look gorgeous."

"What does the bee Santa Claus say ? Ho hum hum !"

"If my dog barks at you we can't be friends, also, I hate you too."

"What does a successful CS:GO bettor spend the money on? Vacation."

"In titanic Jack could of lived..... But Rose just like taking more wood than she should"

"Where can you leave your dog when you shop? The barking lot."

"Why can't the plane fly? Because it's grounded."

"What's the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a tree? My dick."

"What has 4 legs and an arm? A happy pit bull."