81918

Joke of the Day

"Is it okay to kiss a nun? Sure, a long as you don't get in the habit."

"I just held the door open for a Japanese guy and he said, ""Sank you"" So I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor just like that."

"Why did the tissue get up and dance? It had a little boogy in it."

"How do you end beef with someone? With the assistance of your friend, use a machete to chop the cow into pieces."

"""i'm really more of a dog person."" -- werewolf"

"For class, my son had to create his own mythological god. He created Chillux, the god of relaxation, whose house is full of hammocks."

"Today I am no long Obese. At 3'8"" I am a short obese."

"Did you hear about the musician who couldn't even pay to be in tune? He was only a few cents off."

"I only carry cash anymore in case I need to make a dramatic exit in the middle of coffee with a detective"

"What did one giant squid say to the other giant squid? What's Kraken!"