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Joke of the Day

"Niece (4): Uncle, what do you get if you mix blue and purple? Me: Blurple. *She walks away satisfied and amazed at all the things I ""know"""

"How do you circumcise a West Virginian man? Punch his sister in the throat."

"I cut myself shaving today... because who has time to do both?"

"Why isn't there a middle finger emoji I swear I would use it 99% of the time"

"[Last Supper] Jesus:""We need 13 chairs please"" Judas:""But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD"" Jesus:""AD?"""

"Women's logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag."

"How do you make Holy Water? Boil the hell out of it."

"Q: Why do rugby fans eat up the sport? A: Because it is 'scrum'-ptious."

"How did the Trump supporter find his sister in the woods? Not bad."

"How do you clear out a synagogue call the irs"