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Joke of the Day
"How do you make Holy Water? Boil the hell out of it."
Next Joke
"I can never remember if it's ""laying"" or ""lying."" Anyway, I hit a dude with my car and he's doing one of them in the middle of the road. :("
"Her: Show me your pics Me: Ok *blackberry restarts* *waiting* *gets married* *have kids* Son: Dad, your phone finished restarting *dies*"
"What did the left nut say to the right nut? Don't talk to the guy in the middle, he's a dick"
"Being a FEMALE is a matter of BIRTH, being a WOMAN is a matter of AGE, but being a LADY is a matter of CHOICE..."
"Wrinkle Cream My nine-year-old daughter walked in while I was getting ready for work. ""What are you doing?"" she asked. ""Putting on my wrinkle cream,"" I answered. ""Oh,"" she said, walking away. """
"I'm diabetic, and I can't eat sweets It'll cost me an arm and a leg. (It's ok for me to post this, cos I am actually a diabetic)"
"""There's Dave"" Regular Dave or Dave who thinks he's a hotdog and ""f"" is a vowel? [cut to Dave writing in a book titled ""Diary of an frank""]"
"julia!!!! sorry , i am a gay ..."
"Boss:""I'll need those projections done Aesop!"" Me:""You mean ASAP?"" Boss:""No, I mean a parable that uses animals to convey a moral lesson."""