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Joke of the Day

"Someone asked Trump how he planned to build the wall he said ""On the day I got elected 60 million people shit a brick and Mexico agreed to pay for the mortar"""

"I had to go to the hospital without insurance. It wasn't so bad, though. They let me keep my watch and my shoe."

"When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say ""Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."""

"On which side of the road do you drive? -Left. -Well, that doesn't sound right."

"The female praying mantis... knows how to get ahead in life."

"What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs? Michael google."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo. Are you stringing me along!"

"Shouting ""Shotgun"" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier."

"Not gonna lie to you guys, I've used my inter-net connection to look at boobs, tits, and what have you."

"Splashed myself while washing the dishes naked At least I can say I got my dick wet"