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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs? Michael google."

"Do we really need cheese AND other kinds of food? Seems greedy."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.. And one of them was assaulted."

"Losing my virginity was a lot like my first football game Hurt, bloody, but at least my dad came."

"You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!"

"*gets handed a Mario Kart controller at a party* I don't know guys, I've never done this before. *straps on monogrammed driving gloves*"

"ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong"

"Do you know why the ""deez nuts"" guy is in prison? He's nuts."

"Why is Yoda afraid of seven? Because six seven eight."

"people say they're ""over the moon"" when they're happy, but it's a lie; the moon is one of those things you will never truly get over"