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Joke of the Day

"I am creating a new airline called 'The Wife'... Crash proof... It will never go down."

"[On phone to police] Has there been a report of a pervert in the park? P: No, there hasn't. Me: oh good. [Goes back to hiding in bushes]"

"Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo."

"What did Apply say to the iPhone 7? Hit the road, Jack."

"To anyone who says white people can't jump... You obviously haven't seen footage of 9/11."

"What do you say to a hitchhiking frog ? Hop in !"

"If I fave ur tweet on a Friday night pls know I'm doing it from the party club, where I am partyclubbing with my [opens dictionary] friends"

"Not only is today Leap Day, but it's also the 52nd anniversary of Family Circus first appearing in newspapers Wow, that's amazing. Just think about it. That's the same joke told 19,028 different ways"

"Thought of starting an origami business but too lazy to do all the paperwork involved."

"Before you go to sleep tonight, don't forget to sprinkle gluten around your bed to keep away the hipsters."