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Joke of the Day

"Before you go to sleep tonight, don't forget to sprinkle gluten around your bed to keep away the hipsters."

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"""Can I see your ID?"" Sure, it's... *lowers sunglasses* *raises them* *lowers them again* ""What are you doing?"" I don't know."
"In the event of a zombie apocalypse, who's the first to lose his job? a necromancer"
"I just ordered the wrong meat it was a misteak"
"I Like My Rum Like I Like My Woman... 12 Years Old And Mixed Up With Coke."
"In Soviet Russia, Russia Soviet."
"one day a soda can got crushed The next day it went to his therapist and said I'm sodapressed"
"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? 10: one to change it, one to post about it for karma and eight to repost it a few months later."
"What is the most up-voted comment of all time? ""repost"""
"You're so beautiful Sometimes I have to photoshop you to make you look less attractive! - Zach Anner"
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