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Joke of the Day
"What does an astronaut say when he's sorry? All my Apollo-gies."
Next Joke
"Political joke Donald Trump"
"Cop: Why are your eyes bloodshot? Me: My girlfriend dumped me and I was crying... Cop: Oh. Me: ...so I smoked weed to feel better."
"My mother asked me to clean the dishes... ""Ah."" I replied, ""The reason you decided to have children; it's becoming apparent."" Also, ITT: God-tier puns."
"Beauty and the Beast is an introvert's worst nightmare. You stay home alone miles from people and then the damn dishes start talking to you."
"*thousands of puppies flooding onto the battlefield* General: ""STAY STRONG, MEN!"" *soldiers just petting puppies everywhere*"
"You don't get what you WISH for, you get what you WORK for."
"My little girl will never have daddy issues. But her future boyfriends will."
"*feels comfortable* comfortable: *slaps hand away*"
"Getting rejected by women? Try my new question: ""If I were to ask you out, would you say no?"" Sometimes it just feels good to get a ""Yes""."