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Joke of the Day

"*thousands of puppies flooding onto the battlefield* General: ""STAY STRONG, MEN!"" *soldiers just petting puppies everywhere*"

"Me: I set a record for the rope climb in high school. 4-year-old: You climbed it the fastest? My wife: He cried the most."

"What do you get when you cross a bell with a piece of shit? Dung."

"A man goes to the bar And he asks the bar tender Man: ""What taste good? Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke? Tender: *facepalm*"

"What do you call two Mexican guys playing basketball? Juan on Juan."

"When is a door not a door?? When it's ajar."

"Why do virgins never stand still? They are used to being chaste."

"""AAAAHH EARTHQUAKE! Oh good, now it is snowing"" - If I lived in a snow globe."

"A scotsman, an englishman and an irishman walk into a bar and the bartender says, ""What is this? Some kind of a joke?"""

"What has nine arms and sucks? Def Leppard."