73042

Joke of the Day

"*walks into bar with camera* Me: Can I take a shot of this glass? Bartender: Take a pitcher, it'll last longer"

"Put your family down and pay attention to your phone."

"Jesus walks into a bar No he didn't, because he isn't real."

"Birth certificate Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory"

"What has four letters, but a long sentence? Rape."

"How much cum does a gay guy have? A butt load."

"If ""Pretty Woman"" teaches us anything it's that prostitution is a lucrative, whimsical enterprise that every young woman should try."

"Oh you love your mom's cooking? Name 4 of her dishes."

"My girlfriend and I had a fight and she asked me for distance and time, But for the life of me, i cant figure out why she wants to calculate velocity"

"Two Irish schoolboys... 1: Hey, Pat! What's the craic? 2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really? I thought you were only 15? 2: I am! 1: So what was it? Guiness? 2: No, it was water."