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Joke of the Day

"I'm no scientist, but I'm sure that gravity is at it's strongest while laying in bed early in the mornings."

"They should just rename double stuffed Oreos to regular Oreos. And rename regular Oreos to ""Do it Yourself Double Oreo Kits""."

"Why is it difficult to punish vampires? They can't reflect on what they've done."

"Why do politians hate the term ""mudslinging""? They don't want to get their hands dirty."

"What did the guy say when he finally earned the top spot on the High Scores list at the Masturbate Arcade? ""I BEAT IT!!!"""

"Twitter is over Capacity! Well, so's my liver but you don't see me slowing down because of it."

"*writing classic song* Damn, I have the ""For he's a jolly good fellow"" part repeating three times but how am I gonna wrap this bad boy up?"

"Why do tigers always beat cheetahs at hide-and-seek? They've never been spotted."

"I'm the first base coach for my son's baseball team tonight and boy it's really awkward teaching 7 year olds about kissing."

"I'm proud to be black, said the black man. I'm proud to be Asian, said the Asian man. I'm proud to be white, said the RACIST."