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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama's so fat... Instead of a cartwheel she does a ferriswheel."

"STOP PUTTING SIRENS IN MUSIC FOR PETE'S SAKE! I let my hair down & undid two buttons before i realized i wasn't getting pulled over!"

"Rumor has it that the Canadian immigration website crashed because.., Amy Schumer was on it"

"To all the fisherman out there... You da reel MVP"

"The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room"

"If you were forced at gunpoint to either watch '50 Shades Of Grey' or read the book, what type of gun would you prefer to be shot dead with?"

"New Italian Navy Why does the new Italian Navy use glass bottoms in their ships? So the can see the old Italian Navy."

"""hoes before hos"" --the belief that your garden's needs should always come before your bitch's."

"Back in the day, I took $5 to the store and came out with.. 3 bags of chips, a pack of snickers, 2 bottles of coke, a newspaper and a bottle of whisky. And today? CCTVs everywhere!"

"Confucius Say Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time"