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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a boxing on a slackline? Punchline."
Next Joke
"It's wrong! If gay marriage is legal who will stop me marrying this painting of a horse. This majestic painting. Who will stop me kissing it"
"What is a Catholic's favorite weapon? Nun-chucks."
"[cat shelter] Me: so u don't test for it but u say none of them have it? Owner: we've never come across a cat with martial arts training, no"
"I'm seriously considering taking up falconry. Someone pisses me off? BAM! Falcon, right in the face."
"The list of things I hate the most is -Hate -Lists -Irony -Cheap jokes stolen from the internet -Irony -Repetition -Did I mention irony?"
"The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading ""blink if you're being held against your will"""
"Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint."
"Someone just asked my son what other type of fish do you like then? He replied....chicken. Thank god he is good looking."
"A gentleman never eats his soup by soaking it into his tie and squeezing it out into his mouth"