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Joke of the Day

"It's wrong! If gay marriage is legal who will stop me marrying this painting of a horse. This majestic painting. Who will stop me kissing it"

"Just overheard a construction worker in NYC very angrily say ""there's no way to make brown rice taste good by itself."""

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number that you've probably never heard of. I'd explain it but you probably wouldn't get it."

"It was my grandmas birthday yesterday... She loves giraffes so I brought her deep throat 4 on DVD"

"What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands? ""I literally can't even."""

"What's the difference between a women's track team and a bunch of African pygmies? The African pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts. The women's track team are a bunch of running cunts."

"If ""six degrees"" is true, somebody tell somebody to tell somebody to tell somebody to tell somebody to tell Scarlett Johansson I said ""Hi."""

"I haven't been able to look at cereal since the time I walked in on my parents having Chex."

"What would Jesus's favorite gun be? A nail gun"

"You ever hear of the Nazi strip club? They don't make it rain, they make it Heil!"