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Joke of the Day

"I'm seriously considering taking up falconry. Someone pisses me off? BAM! Falcon, right in the face."

"The Sun's probably Asian."

"Whipped cream is just shaving cream that does whatever it's girlfriend tells it to do."

"I like my coffee like I like my women Ground up and in my freezer"

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60, she's 97 today... and we don't know where the fuck she is."

"How do you get an art major off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!"

"Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for ""coffee,"" first make sure she has coffee, you don't want to get up there and there's no coffee."

"Joke a friend made up What's black and yellow and makes everyone laugh? A school bus full of black people falling off a cliff."

"absolutely despicable that gingerbread men are forced to live in houses made of their own flesh"

"You say I'm ""Dirty minded"" but then how did you understand what I meant?"