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Joke of the Day

"Trojan's next commercial should just be a guy saying ""See?"" while pointing at my kids when they're fighting over a cookie."

"Did you hear about the fugitive midget psychic? He's a small medium at large."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber!"

"How many mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan."

"Why was everybody too afraid to go to the barber? He committed barbercide."

"When you watch tv with the closed captioning on... You've got to take their word for it."

"What do you get when you dress the Hulk in Captain America's clothes? A Star-Spangled Banner."

"Went to the doctors and told him l was suffering from premature ejaculation. He asked how does your wife feel about it? I said she took it on the chin the first time but now its getting on her tits..."

"[with my pet bird at the park] Hot girl: omg ur duck is so cute Me: *covering mr quackers ears* he's a mallard u idiot get away from me"

"There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe...call in sick tomorrow."