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Joke of the Day

"There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe...call in sick tomorrow."

"What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown? Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet"

"What's worse than finding a hole in your condom? Finding a condom in your hole!"

"Instead of the death penalty they should make prisoners nice and comfortable and then tell them that the remote control is across the room."

"I got fired from work on pajama day... It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"Girl, are you a glass of water because I think you're about to throw yourself at me."

"Getting your shit together just sounds unsanitary"

"Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? From trying to blow out lightbulbs."

"Went to the zoo last week and all they had was one animal and it was a dog... It was a shih tzu."

"Two fish are in a tank... the first fish says to the second... ""You man the guns, i'll drive!"""