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Joke of the Day

"I usually roll around in the magazine aisle at Barnes and Noble before a date because I want to smell nice, but I'm on a budget."

"I dowloaded the song ""Runnin' down a dream"" illegally from the internet... I got charged with Petty theft."

"Women are like concrete.. You've gotta keep 'em wet and moving 'til you're done laying it."

"Server friend was complaining about her pay at local restaurant Server friend was complaining about her job at local restaurant. So I say, ""Don't worry. Good things come those who wait."""

"I bet my road rage would be taken more seriously if I spoke German."

"i feel wrong i think im having a dyslexic stroke. i cant smell anything on the left side of my body and i feel toast."

"Doctor Doctor I've a split personality Well you'd better both sit down then!"

"They're a pack of lions He's some guy who hates lions Together, they're: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE This fall on CBS"

"I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically."

"What did the drifter say to the person he hit ? RIP my E-brake"