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Joke of the Day

"I usually roll around in the magazine aisle at Barnes and Noble before a date because I want to smell nice, but I'm on a budget."

"How to do fit ten popes in a vw bug? Tell them to take off their hats"

"What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? One has strings, the other has straaangs."

"Other than Superman and the homeless has anyone used a phone booth in the last 10 years?"

"I love the Olympics, but missing Dateline due to the Olympics sucks. One of these athletes better end up being a serial killer or something."

"Why do witches have stiff joints ? They get broomatism !"

"Damn girl, are you weed? Because you smell dank."

"What do you call a paraplegic with an incurable STD? Roll-aids."

"What do you call a pepper in late autumn? A little chili"

"When I see a guy with a tooth pick in his mouth I'm like, wow. look at that guy. he ate most of a tree."