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Joke of the Day
"What did the drifter say to the person he hit ? RIP my E-brake"
Next Joke
"So prince is dead... Which means that half-way through the embalming process, he'll be a half-blood prince."
"Starting a new job today. I'm not sure what company, but it's wherever this lady with the giant box of donuts is going."
"From my 6 year old: Where do good bees live? A bee-have"
"My prison name If I ever went to prison, my prison name would be The Mitochondria, because I'll be the powerhouse of the cells."
"Who was the first Mexican to be knighted by the Queen? Sir Veza"
"I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something."
"Why is every boob job the same? Two round boobs. Switch it up ladies. Someone get two Belgian waffles or something."
"I ordered a meal from the International Space Station. My sides are in orbit."
"Today seems like a good day to wash my hair and take 10 selfies wearing 10 different shirts so I can pretend I look human on a regular basis"