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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I've a split personality Well you'd better both sit down then!"

"This month is called ""February,"" that stuff is called ""snow"" and unless you live in what's called the ""tropics,"" drop the shock and awe."

"Sitting behind a couple in this theater that's making out. I'm gonna lean forward and whisper ""This is nice"" in a minute."

"masquerade I went to a masquerade wearing nothing but roller-skates. I went as a pull toy."

"How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two, but you have to wonder how the hell they got in there"

"that's a rather intricate bullet proof vest ur wearing ""this is a front-side baby carrier. this is my baby.."" dude that's messed up"

"No thank you GPS. I have this magic ring on my left hand that connects me to the nice young lady in the passenger's seat who knows everything."

"Son: Daddy, what's it like to have the most awesome son in the world ? Father: I don't know, ask your grandfather."

"Harry Potter can't tell the difference between a cooking pot and his best mate. They're both cauldron."

"I don't eat some foods. -vagueans"