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Joke of the Day

"If The Dark Side Of The Moon had tracks 3 and 5 removed The album would be timeless, but there wouldn't be any money in it."

"What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA? Thrown out of the petting zoo"

"If I would brush my teeth as vigorously as the people in the toothpaste commercials do, my sink would look like a murder scene."

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time-consuming."

"As a form of protest against non-moving escalators, I get on and just stand there. Hours sometimes. It's not like I have anywhere to get to."

"Q: What did the puppy say when he sat on sand paper? - A: RUFF!"

"I think Sarah Jessica Parker quit the church when the minister giggled & said, ""Let us bray."""

"""500 Days of Summer"" was pretty good for a movie I was expecting to be about global warming."

"I tried to tell the doctor I was constipated... She said I was full of shit"

"Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon? Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs."