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Joke of the Day

"If The Dark Side Of The Moon had tracks 3 and 5 removed The album would be timeless, but there wouldn't be any money in it."

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"What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA? Thrown out of the petting zoo"
"If I would brush my teeth as vigorously as the people in the toothpaste commercials do, my sink would look like a murder scene."
"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time-consuming."
"As a form of protest against non-moving escalators, I get on and just stand there. Hours sometimes. It's not like I have anywhere to get to."
"Q: What did the puppy say when he sat on sand paper? - A: RUFF!"
"I think Sarah Jessica Parker quit the church when the minister giggled & said, ""Let us bray."""
"""500 Days of Summer"" was pretty good for a movie I was expecting to be about global warming."
"I tried to tell the doctor I was constipated... She said I was full of shit"
"Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon? Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs."