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Joke of the Day

"""500 Days of Summer"" was pretty good for a movie I was expecting to be about global warming."

"Want to know how copper wire was invented? Two jews fighting over a penny."

"Ricky Martin should have waited until Saturday so he could come out the same day as the iPad. Maybe that's what Tom Cruise is waiting for?"

"Dorothy: Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Yellow Brick Road: I have a boyfriend."

"Vampire 1: ""I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died."" Vampire 2: ""How awful!"" Vampire 1: ""Yes. Fortunately I found some in the neck of time."""

"If you play Rebecca Black's ""Friday"" backwards, Satan appears and asks why you have so much fucking time on your hands."

"Interview Employer: ""This is an important job, we need someone who is responsible."" Applicant: ""I'm the one you want! At my last job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible."""

"So who is this ""Rorschach"" guy... ...And why does he love drawing pictures of naked men?"

"I can't wait to find out what new undeleteable apps that I don't want will be on the new iPhone."

"What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick."