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Joke of the Day

"So today is International Women's Day It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready. ^^stole ^^this ^^from ^^twitter, ^^sorry"

"Sorry but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin."

"How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got down on one knee and said: ""I don't want to be obamaself"""

"9/11 was terrible, just imagine what the people on that plane were going through... other than a building"

"Ted Cruz takes his religious values very seriously He always pulls out before finishing"

"I only drink Smart Water now. I think it's really helping my... my head thinking thingie."

"Why do crowd control police go earlier to work? To beat the crowd."

"Reddit. Now a tool for the NSA."

"Why is slave trade illegal Because it's a black market."

"My wife said ""why do you always treat me like a cunt?"" I didn't know what to say, so I just put 2 fingers in her mouth and licked her nose."