218709

Joke of the Day

"I only drink Smart Water now. I think it's really helping my... my head thinking thingie."

"Yo mama so fat... When she poops, her shit colides with the water and creates legible gravitional waves through space and time."

"Q. Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? R. Charged With Battery!"

"Maybe the baby wasn't on board. Maybe the baby was against the whole thing."

"A Cop, Indian, GI, Construction Worker and a Cowboy walk into a bar... Am I in the wrong place or are they?"

"In England violent sports fans are called hooligans. What are they called in America? Americans."

"[dj voice] ""What's up Dad Party!"" *dads go nuts* ""I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?!?"" [dads in unison] DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT"

"Roses are red-ish... Violets are blue-ish. If it wasn't for Jesus, we'd all be Jewish."

"If you find something wrong with EVERY person you meet maybe it's because you haven't been introduced to yourself!"

"What did the stoplight say to the car? Don't look, I'm changing!"