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Joke of the Day

"My wife said ""why do you always treat me like a cunt?"" I didn't know what to say, so I just put 2 fingers in her mouth and licked her nose."

"Avoiding eye contact with co-workers is for rookies. Make eye contact and don't say anything as you pass"

"U2 are one of Ireland's most successful bands. Or according to their tax returns, one of Netherlands' least successful hardware store owners."

"What's 80 feet long and has 22 teeth? The front row of a Ted Nugent concert."

"A boy asks his mum why he was getting Christmas presents in August His mum replied ""Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy. """

"Left home on Friday night, got bck home on Monday night. Grandma: U kids dnt knw hw 2 party, wen I ws ur age, I'd come back after a month"

"My gay friend told me his old boyfriend never played with his balls, but his new one just can't stop playing with them I told him ""I suppose one man's junk is another mans treasure"""

"Where do holy men sleep? Monk beds."

"What's Hitler's favourite VW? A Golf"

"Did you hear about the car with wooden wheels, a wooden engine, and wooden doors? It wooden start"