211973

Joke of the Day

"9/11 was terrible, just imagine what the people on that plane were going through... other than a building"

"Why Aren't Elephants Allowed On The Beach?... Because they always blow their trunks off!"

"my wife's divorcing me and i asked reddit for help i hit the lawyer, what now"

"Sorry neighbor who's choking to death, my cat's resting his little head on my leg. This, like, never happens."

"If anyone breaks in, I take comfort in knowing they'll never get past the 20 pairs of shoes in the hallway."

"What do you do to backwards scented muffins? sniffum"

"Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card? The thief was spending less then his wife."

"Volunteer shark bait is a much more inspiring name for surfers"

"What serious crime has Michelle Obama done? Fucking a monkey! Beastiality is still illegal in most states!"

"Who called it ""wearing a monocle"" and not ""putting on a bit of a spectacle?"""