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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a wheelchair bound Leo? HanDicaprio. ."

"Orange is the new white rest are black."

"I've never been offered money for sex. Never been offered money to not have sex either. So there's that."

"My cat told me he's old enough to move out on his own now but then he said nah I'm just kitten"

"Its important you remember that unprotected phone sex........"

"Apparently someone has been shot with a starter pistol at the athletics track Police think it may be race related"

"Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. "

"I'm going to a birthday party in Charlotte tomorrow... Hopefully the looting isn't over because I forgot to buy a present."

"Him: Didn't you buy that apple pie yesterday? Me: Yeah, so? Him: There's one small piece left. Me: And if you touch it, I'll stab you."

"A man, his wife, his kid, and his dog all walk into a bar. *Ouch!* *Ouch!* *Ouch!* *Woof!*"