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Joke of the Day

"Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. "

"What sucks about being black and jewish? You gotta stand at the back of the oven! Edit: I was at an [7] when typing this and fucked it up. It is better now. oven was bus. Changed bus to oven."

"[nabisco hq] ""Wheat Thins sales are down we need ideas"" *raises hand* ""anyone else?"" ... ... ""ok Dan, but I swear to god if u say-"" Wheat Thicks"

"50 of the most offensive jokes I know 49 of them is your mom"

"One from my 7yo God daughter: why can't Elsa hold on to her balloon? Because she keeps letting it go!"

"Sometimes I wonder if my wife ever heard me call her a dumb bitch. I think about it every day since she died from cancer. I never got to say it to her face."

"How did the detective solve his cold-case? He put it in a conviction-oven."

"The easiest way to create a feeling a suspense. ..."

"Oh, what? Sorry. I was trying to imagine you with a personality. "

"Imagine PREDATOR is a sequel to E.T. Now enjoy both films more."