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Joke of the Day

"Him: Didn't you buy that apple pie yesterday? Me: Yeah, so? Him: There's one small piece left. Me: And if you touch it, I'll stab you."

"How many Spanish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan."

"I'm going to get a sleeve tattoo of a farmers tan."

"What do you call a gay satanist? Sack-Religious"

"My family puts the ""C"" in Awckward because the majority of them didn't graduate high school and are horrible spellers."

"Why doesn't the KKK like Halloween? Too many spooks."

"My girlfriend asked me why we don't make love like they do in the movies.. So I ripped off her clothes, fucked her in the ass and came in her eye. I guess we don't watch the same movies."

"any man with a ponytail is never more than 15ft away from a katana at any given time"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? An obscure number you've probably never heard of......"

"So how do I take the gum out of my hair? Cancer."