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Joke of the Day

"The door to door bible people just skipped my house! See, all it takes is trying to kiss the guy and he wont be back (until 3am)"

"me: *kicks a stone* mountain: my baby"

"I recently got fired from a calender factory All i did was take a day off"

"Two guys walk into a bar.... ...the third ducked."

"Today we celebrate the birthday of a man who changed the way we see and understand the magic of the universe. Happy Birthday Isaac Newton."

"What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out of the window."

"Red sky at night; shepherds delight, red sky in morning; shepherds warning Minced lamb, potato, onion and carrot; shepherd's pie."

"I'm not a racist Racism is a crime and crime is for black people."

"What do you get if you mix..... Mexicans with Samoans? Some mo Mexicans!"

"Religion is all about who you DON'T recognize..... Jews don't recognize Jesus as the son of God, Protestants don't recognize the Pope, and Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store."