141983

Joke of the Day

"Had a dream last night.. about eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, I noticed my pillow was missing."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell"

"If you hold your pee.. Then your hands would get wet."

"I used to think I had an ass that prison inmates would die for, now, I don't know."

"When jogging, if i get tired, I insult the people i pass in my head & then imagine having to get away as they chase me..."

"When I'm pushing the twins in the pram and someone asks me if they're mine I say 'no, they're for my collection' and run as fast as I can"

"Where is the best place to hide after murdering a black man? Behind a badge."

"I just saw my first Porno yesterday.... I couldn't believe how young I looked in it."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker? They say he had locomotives."

"Probably a good thing I'm not a ghost cause I'd just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food."