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Joke of the Day

"Friends are like penguins If you stab it, it dies."

"I was going to say a gay joke... butt fuck it."

"Funeral Emily died last week after she fell in the lake. It's a shame she never learned how to swim. We brought a life preserver to her funeral. It's what she would have wanted."

"Driving I was driving in the city, when I got the Sun in my eyes. Damn Paparazzi."

"A horse walks into a bar .. .. as Miranda and Samantha were already waiting, Charlotte was running late."

"Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids? To get to the other side."

"You really have to question the judgment of people who have children on purpose."

"Last night I had a bad dream about a nocturnal horse It was a real night-mare"

"What's the difference between my grandma and a baby? My grandma doesn't die when I fuck her."

"what did the grape say when it got stepped on? nothing, it just let out a little whine"