72583
Joke of the Day
"Why did the pharoah go to the dentist? Because egypt his tooth."
Next Joke
"Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore."
"What do you call a Scottish lady that wears nothing but a tie? Hentai."
"CASHIER: ""Did you find everything you were looking for?"" ME: ""Oh, yes..."" [places ""How To Murder A Cashier"" book on counter]"
"78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up."
"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar Don't worry you'll soon change!"
"Whenever I'm watching paint dry I like to listen to James Bay ... Just to really complete the experience"
"[15 minutes into choosing which crab from the tank to have for dinner] Date: are you crying?"
"First rule of flight club...no penguins."
"As I've gotten older, I've realized the world can be seen through a million perspectives. Mine and 999,999 wrong ones."