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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar Don't worry you'll soon change!"

"[15 years ago] Mom: Use protection. I'm too young to be a nana [Now] M: I'll pay for the Russian mail order bride. I WANT GRANDCHILDREN!!"

"Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white... Now it looks like France landed there..."

"Marriage is like having your favorite meal every day... At first, it's great! But after a week, you're thinking, ""Eh, I kinda feel like having Asian tonight."""

"What's black and white and red all over? An assassinated President."

"Why did the rope get put in timeout? Because he was very knotty."

"When finding out he was into beastiality, what did Robocop say to Schrodinger's cat? Dead or alive, you're coming with me"

"I got really excited when she talked about a motorboat date, but as it turns out, she just wanted to take a ride on the lake. *sigh*"

"Don't think we didn't notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it."

"hello, hello ! 911 ? 911 ? Yes, Sir, what happened ? ""I think my wife's dead"". ""What happened, Sir ?"" ""Well...she's lying in bed, cold and stiff as usual, but the dishes haven't been done in 3 days !"""