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Joke of the Day

"Robot Joke A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says ""we don't serve robots here"". The robot squints and says ""you will..."""

"The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2014."

"I never realized how overweight my thumbs were until I tried typing on an iPhone."

"What do you call a hot girl in Germany ? Tourist"

"Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months."

"How do you break up with a farmer long-distance? A John Deere letter."

"When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!"

"A waiter accidentally slipped and threw curry all over an extremely rude customer... ... It was chicken karma"

"Being married to a photographer is depressing... ...they're always looking at the negatives."

"The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep scratching."