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Joke of the Day

"Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months."

"[creates anti aging pill] Reporter: wow imagine all the human applications this can have *I scribble out 'give to puppies'* Yeah absolutely"

"Let's get this out of the way now. Next Wednesday, the date will be 12-12-12. Happy?"

"Couple kissing on the road A Kid On His Way To Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road, He Suddenly Shouted & Said: Look Mom look, that boy and girl Are Fighting For A Chewing GUM."

"""The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach."" - The worst surgeon in the world"

"How far can you run into the woods? Halfway, any further and you're running out."

"What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire."

"What's a German's favorite fruit? An Auto-Bahnana"

"Defending why he has a dislike of gay guys... Ok look I know they're not all bad but you have to admit they hang around a lot of assholes."

"This joke was the first post I ever made! Did you hear the one about Kevin Ware? He turned White Man Can't Jump into Black Man Can't Land."