213366

Joke of the Day

"When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!"

"What do you call a beautiful girl in Boston? A tourist."

"What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you racist."

"Q: Why'd the robber take a bath? A: He wanted to make a clean getaway."

"I'm making a horror film where a sadistic snowman sets death traps for other snowmen and they have to melt bits of themselves to escape.It's called Thaw."

"I haven't slept for 10 days.... ...because that would be too long. - Mitch Hedberg"

"What is Aloe Blacc's real name? Bye Bye White"

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered child molester."

"""Dad, I cant sleep."" Dad: [enters chugging a Monster] SLEEP IS DEAD. GET A JOB. ""Dad Im seven-"" Dad: SO WERE THE DWARVES BUT THEY HAD JOBS."

"If life gives you lemons... Make lemonade. If life gives you melons... You might be dyslexic"