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Joke of the Day

"Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says ""one second,"" wait more than one second before entering."

"Why are there so many women archaeologists? Because women love digging up the past."

"Don't let the notion of being bad at something keep you from enjoying it Ask my wife."

"An Asian girl walks up to me in a bar. She says ***""Sex sex sex, free sex tonight!""*** Apparently she was giving me her number."

"did Darwin predict butterflies would then evolve into tattoos?"

"Another off color limerick A sperm, alack and forsooth Was at it's moment of sexual truth It had hoped to fall On the womb's spongy wall But was dashed to it's death on a tooth!"

"You know, redheads... are pumpkin spiced all year round."

"What do you get when you cross hot chicks coming and going, a camera, a guy known for his explosion scenes, and a douche? Possible Transformers sequel."

"What do you call someone who thinks Vikings are the best? a Norsissist."

"My parents are in a fight My dad wanted to go see a lighthearted psychic. My mother wanted to buy some cheerful watercolors. I hope they find a happy medium"