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Joke of the Day

"Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says ""one second,"" wait more than one second before entering."

"It's not curiosity that killed the cat ... it was procatstination"

"Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake."

"TIL... Tomorrow I learned that Steve Buscemi was a volunteer firefighter on Sep...."

"Freddie Mercury: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me Chorus of Dads: HI JUST A POOR BOY, I'M DAD! SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY"

"I will carry 17 grocery bags or die trying before making two trips."

"Hey, car guys, I got a joke for you the Toyota Prius."

"A pair of identical twins... ... on opposite banks of a river. One says ""I wish I was on that side of the river."" The other replies ""You are."""

"Guess why they call me Thunder Penis? Because you can't see it"

"I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born inside out!"