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Joke of the Day

"When they ask me in a job interview what my greatest weakness is, I always say that I can't open my eyes under water"

"When people ask What Would Jesus Do, I remember how he hid in that cave for 3 days after people were so mean to him. That's more my speed."

"Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are just dying to get in."

"In hindsight, using the word ""harder"" as the safe word, was not the best idea."

"What did the surrealist butcher name his shop? Salvador Deli"

"Is this your resume? ""Yep"" It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away ""Oh yes"" Welcome to UPS!"

"A Serial Killer Known For Ripping Out Tounges Entered The Buzzfeed Office And What He Did Next Left Us Speechless"

"Bad news from the doctor... Men: Doctor, how is my mother in law? Doctor: I have some bad news. Men: We can take her home, right? Doctor: Yes"

"1000 pounds of oranges. is a ton of oranges."

"Donald Trump can't take any criticism... At this point he's such a pussy about it he may as well just grab himself."