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Joke of the Day

"1000 pounds of oranges. is a ton of oranges."

"I yelled ""STOP EATING CAT TURDS OR IT WILL HURT WHEN YOU POOP!"" & my dog stopped eating, so if you need a motivational speaker contact me"

"This season of Game of Thrones set new records for Piracy Probably because it's written by George Arrrrr Arrrrr Martin"

"When a woman asks how good I am in bed... I'm definitely not the second coming."

"If my dog barks at you we can't be friends, also, I hate you too."

"I think calling them maggots is insensitive... they should be referred to as larvasexuals."

"Did you hear about the boy born without eyelids? The doctors said they could give the boy eyelids made out of his foreskin. The only problem is that he would be a little cockeyed."

"Have you heard what scientists are saying about Pluto? Apparently he's too small to be a dog."

"Steve Irwin died the same way he lived.. ..with animals in his heart."

"Having sex with a waitress sucks. She only takes the tip."