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Joke of the Day

"its always terifying when im alone in my apartment and i hear a small child's voice say ""hello"" becuase i dread making smalltalk"

Next Joke
 
"What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi"
"I bought myself one of those ""off road vehicles"" last week... Paid $3000 for it, got it home and found out it was a Canoe!!!"
"ISIS has a lot in common with Little Miss Muffet They've both got Kurds in their way"
"A cave man walks into a bar... ""Hey, Joe, has any one invented booze yet?"""
"Why do white people own so many pets? Because we're not allowed to own people anymore."
"Me [sneezes]: excuse me Guy at the bus stop: [starts crying] my ex used me too, man."
"You know they say 25% of women are medicated for being ""crazy"".. That means the other 75% is running around un-medicated."
"Did you know Joe Montana and his brother have more super bowl wins than the Manning brothers? And Joe Montana doesn't even have a brother!"
"Surveyor: This house is a ruin. I wonder what stops it from falling down. Owner: I think the woodworm are holding hands."