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Joke of the Day

"You know they say 25% of women are medicated for being ""crazy"".. That means the other 75% is running around un-medicated."

"The best part about working in an office is that if you ever forget that you got a haircut, someone will definitely point it out to you."

"Policeman: I've had my eye on you for some time now. Young Lady: That's funny. I thought you were arresting me for speeding."

"I'm constantly amazed that only 26 letters in the alphabet can produce so much bullshit."

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? You would too if your name was MMMHHHUUHH"

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a hooker with diarrhea? One you shuck between fits..."

"If Microwaves were people... They would be your one friend who always runs into something or knocks something down when you're trying to sneak into the house at 3 am."

"People you mute should stay in your TL but with a piece of tape over their avatar mouth and their tweets all like ""Mmmp mm mmmph rf mph."""

"How do you titillate an Ocelot? Ocillate it's tit a lot"

"Why do nuns hate laundry day? They always fall back on old habits."