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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Joe Montana and his brother have more super bowl wins than the Manning brothers? And Joe Montana doesn't even have a brother!"

"The Muffin Joke Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said ""Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?"" The other turned and shouted ""Oh my god a talking muffin!"""

"[Serious] Can we stop making bomb jokes? Edit: Wow, this really blew up! Edit 2: Feeling bombastic! Thanks for the gold!"

"Inspiring to see someone lift himself up by his own bootstraps. But soon you'll wonder what you're doing at a fucking magic show."

"There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe...call in sick tomorrow."

"[Interrogation room] Good cop: ""Confess and we will go easy on you"" Sweet tooth cop: ""You bes- *hears music* -ICE CREAM MAN!"" *runs outside*"

"Feeding some weed to the turkey so it will already be baked when we kill it... Will save sooo much time !"

"""Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday and it said that I needed an upgrade."""

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field!"

"What do you call a Roman guy with pubes in his mouth? Gladiator"