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Joke of the Day

"How do you stir up the politics in a Coca Cola drink? You add ices."

"Whats the hardest part of watching an Orphanage burn? Not getting hard."

"Three guys walk into a bar... The fourth one ducks under it."

"The only way I can appreciate a beautiful view is by taking a picture of it with my phone & looking at it on the screen."

"Tug boats hate when their mom comes in their room without knocking."

"Why did the blind man use chopsticks? Because he couldn't see the point in forks."

"I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She told me that I have to stop jerking off. I asked, ""Why?"" She replied, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"Mariah Carey sounded horrible the other day. It was like a cannon went off in her throat."

"[high school reunion] ""Hey aren't u the kid who used to lie and throw people under the bus all the time?"" No that was Tyler."

"5: ""Why is the moon so bright?"" Me: ""It's not, it's pretty dim actually."" Moon: ""I heard that."""