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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a toilet and a sink? ... Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore."

"what is the best thing about eating brown bread you can eat 1 slice and it is still a whole-meal"

"Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one."

"""Asparagus!!!"" - italian guy named Gus pleading for his life"

"They found horse meat in food in the U.K. ... ... and horse piss in the beer in the U.S."

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway? You take the S out of SAFE and you take the F out of WAY"

"I hope Elon Musk never gets in a scandal Because Elongate would be really drawn out."

"I never had to swim for my life in a shark attack but once I had to doggy-paddle really fast to get out of a pool when it was dessert time."

"You all hate smokers until you need to light a birthday cake..."

"Why is Jesus so sexually frustrated? he is not coming till judgement day. so sorry am i going to hell for this?"